On Prayer

“I still maintain my stand that prayers change nothing. If prayers need you to put your effort first to function, that means prayers do absolutely nothing; what is working is your efforts.” - X

This is a genuine thought a lot of us have had at one point or another. These questions are good as they challenge what we think we know, what is true, and help us seek deeper understanding.

Here is how I think about it:

1.

A good place to start is defining what prayer is. For a lot of us (Christians), we understand prayer primarily as a channel of petition and request. This is part of it but if this is all you do in prayer, you will run out of things to ask and get bored. You can try it; I have.

Prayer at its core, is fellowship. It is simply being present; like spending time with a friend, your kids or your partner. It is less about the ask and more about communion (Romans 8:26).

2.

So if request is part of prayer, meaning I can ask for things, why is effort needed?

(The fact the effort is mentioned means this is a request that effort alone can fulfill—usually material things. When people ask questions like this, they are often referring to wealth).

Close your eyes and imagine a world where all you need to do to get things is pray. I think it would be a world filled with religious facade and devoid of purpose or fulfillment. It wouldn’t be a good place.

Prayer isn’t to bypass the human experience of effort and growth. That will be unfair of a just God. Perhaps the “answer” to prayer is often the strength or wisdom to engage with life’s challenges, rather than their removal.

As humans we are limited. We get tired (Isaiah 40:30, 1 Kings 19:4). We make mistakes. Prayer gives strength (Psalm 138:3, Luke 22:43), peace (Philippians 4:7), and clarity (James 1:5, Jeremiah 33:3).

By the way, I really doubt anyone can attribute all they have achieved in life to their sole effort—maybe most things, but definitely not all.

3.

So are you saying “Don’t pray for things”?

It’s ok to pray for things. We’ve all been in situations where we could use some help. I could really use a couple thousand pounds right now. But God doesn’t have pounds. He doesn’t spend them. The world’s value system is designed by man. So if I am praying for money, it has to come through this system—it won’t fall from heaven. What channel can this prayer be answered through? Have I invested in building strong relationships with friends God could nudge to give me that? Have I worked on acquiring high-value skills that someone can pay me for?

Miracles do happen but systems and principles govern the everyday life (John 6:26).

4.

What about the time I prayed for stuff (especially non-material things) and it didn’t happen?

Towards the end of December last year, J dreamt B was seriously beaten and she had to take her to the hospital. Before they got to the hospital, she woke up. She shared this with me and I nudged her to give B a call and check on her. Turned out B had been sick. J forced her to the hospital for a proper test and the doctor discovered there was fluid in one of her lungs. Some weeks and 3 operations later, a cancerous mass was discovered in the lung.

This year, I prayed like I have never prayed before. And fasted. At least 30 minutes every morning and 1 hour every night, praying for a miracle. J was on another level. Besides our own sessions, she does at least another hour with her prayer group.

Even when the doctor had a meeting with the family and close friends after her failed radiotheraphy and chemo, we still had faith. I mean, why did J had the dream in the first place? One of those nights, I was literally just crying in prayer. If anything happened to B, we would be shattered.

We lost her in April. And we were broken. B was the sister I never had. It was really devastating.

I had many questions. What did we miss? Was it that we didn’t pray enough?

There are many possible reasons we don’t get what we pray for. There are all those things you have heard—wrong kind of prayer, character development, faith building, etc. Sometimes, even our own actions sabotage our prayers. Personally, I try to focus on two things:

• Unbelief—a lack of that inner alignment and conviction¹ about what you are praying for. God can, but will he? Have I reached that place of conviction that he will?
• God’s will (1 John 5:14) and sovereignty. As humans, our focus and interests limit our perspective. In the grand scheme of things, our desires may not align with God’s plan (Job 42:2–3).

I havent really been able to pray in the last 2 months. The few times I have managed to, all I pray for is strength. Some days are fine, but some evenings, I still see J cry.

So yes, what did we miss? Why wasn’t she healed?

Honestly, I don’t know. But as I try to find my way back, I find solace in two truths:

• My role is to put in the effort (Titus 3:8) and confidently ask (1 John 5:14).
• I can trust in His wisdom and plan to take care of the rest, accepting the outcome, whatever that is (Romans 8:28).

I don’t have all the answers. These are just my own thoughts. Maybe they are wrong, maybe they don’t fully answer it, but I am curious to know what you think about prayer.